Joyful does not mean Naive

I have not written anything on here lately. That is due to a mixture of mass amounts of school work and studying, followed by a heavy dose of work and social committments.

What I have been contemplating lately, is the difference between human beings and personalities. Some personalities rub others the wrong way, while those same people are viewed as extremely attractive to others. It doesn't make anyone right or wrong in their thinking or how they read people, it just makes them different.

For the longest time I was concerned with other people's opinions of my life or people that I liked, and it would make me upset if my friends had a negative view about someone or something I cared about, because it rubbed them the wrong way. But we are all very different. One person will be offended by something, and that is alright, but another wont be offended, and this is alright too.

I am talking about minor infractions, nothing grand scale. Im not talking about public nudity or committing crimes or anything like that. I am talking about how people react to social interactions, conversations between people, events that occur in relationships, etc.

I think one of the most poisonous things a person could do, is to not even think about another person's view on things, and to just impose your own view on their situation, unsolicited. Unless, of course, that person is in harm's way, being abused verbally or physically, or their health is in danger. If they are happy in their situation, then let them be happy.

You are allowed your opinion, but be sensitive in how you phrase it. I am a nice person, I like to find the best in people. I am also a Christian female and a morally "good girl," somehow this translates to people as being naive or weak and it drives me insane. Those words literally make my face hot. It is as if they are implying I am in LaLa Land and I am unaware of surrounding circumstances.

Quite the opposite, I am very aware. I have the type of personality where I play out all the possible outcomes of a scenarios before I get involved in that scenario, and that leads to me making a more informed decision. This can apply to anything, from shopping at a grocery store, to when I started dating my boyfriend, to being a high school student. Every cause has an affect. I don't have that many regrets because this is how I am.

I do not live my life in reckless abandon, not looking at any consequences to my actions, social or otherwise. When I walk into a parking garage, I am not Bambi. I am not humming a silly little tune and skipping to my car. I have my keys between my fingers and mace in my hand. And yes, I can and have kicked a guy in the head before (he was my friend, but I can still do it). I have also been yelled at by an ex-boyfriend for being too nice and not getting upset with him, how does that make sense? He obviously needed turmoil that I could not give him.

If I dated a guy that mistreated me in any way, done. End of story. I am not a Yo-Yo dater just going back for crappy seconds. I do not put up with mistreatment, verbal or otherwise. I choose people I keep close to me very carefully, if you are not able to bring encouragement and all other positives that a friend should be, you will be kept at arms length.

Yet I still give off this impression to people that are close to me that I am naive. Being happy and joyful and smiling at the simple things in my day does not make me naive. If people are telling me I have to be cold and stoic in order to be percieved as intelligent and aware, then give me a different set of people.

I may be the juxtaposition to what people normally are used to, but that is okay. I have decided that it makes people feel better if they can place you in a category, especially one that is lesser than themselves. I will continue to be joyful and thoughtful. I will continue to be bubbly and informed. I will continue to care and to stand up for the truth. Just because someone places me in a category, does not mean I have to crumble and stay there.

The Mary Kay Way

If I were to ever own a business, and I do plan on this happening someday, I would like to run it the same way Mary Kay did.  I'm not saying I'm going to have thousands of employees running their own personal business out of their homes doing makeup parties and demonstrations, but I would like to achieve the same amount of respect for my employees & business partners as she did.

I started reading Mary Kay Way last year after going on a book binge (bookstores just make me happy). Since I do want to own a business I thought it would be smart to read a book about one of America's smartest business women.


I cannot recount the entire book to you, nor would I want to.  But one of the founding principles of her business was treating someone like you would if you were having them over for dinner in your home. No more of this "big guy, little guy" stuff, with bosses ringing your neck for a mistake instead of handling the situation with dignity.

This book is inspiring, and though it may be pink, should not just be read by females, or even just by people who want to or already own a business.  This book inspires you to treat everyone in a way that not only makes them feel important, it makes them feel listened to and appreciated.

Think about it, how many times have you had a conversation with someone, but you are continually looking around the room while doing so? How unfair is that to the other person. In a friendship, it is disrespectful and makes the other person feel unimportant. In a business meeting, it is also disrespectful, but it makes the other person feel like you are unprofessional.

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Love Etsy

So I've been making things to sell on Etsy.com lately. It's an amazing site where you can only sell vintage or handmade items. I've always loved making things, when I was a kid, while others were playing video games, I was cross-stitching and knitting.

Here are some of the items I've made:

Pink & Brown Demask Pillow - $7 (+s&h)

http://www.etsy.com/listing/45781994/pink-and-brown-damask-pillow

Pink & Brown Zebra print pillow- $9 (+s&h)

http://www.etsy.com/listing/45795373/pink-and-brown-rectangle-zebra-pillow?ref=vl_other_1

With all the stresses of finals, work, life, sewing makes me happy. Can't wait to make more items!

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Mr. Bill

Healthcare.

It affects all of us, this new bill they just passed. I have mixed thoughts on this, and your own opinion may be the same or different depending on what kind of tax bracket you are in, and where your morals stand.

I am in my early 20's. Before this bill was passed, if I graduated college & didn't get a job right away with benefits, I would get kicked off my parent's insurance plan & would have to go for my own individual plan.

PRO: Now, even if I don't get a job right out of college, with this bill I can stay on my parent's plan until I am 26. CON: However, if I get a job and somehow have a "Cadillac" insurance plan provided by my employer (a very nice, very covered plan), once the bill is in full affect in 2014, the government will tax my employer 40% of the cost the my insurance package...great. I do believe that is the opposite of encouraging companies to provide nice group benefits.

PRO: This bill requires everyone in the U.S. to purchase health insurance, including people with pre-existing conditions (insurance companies can no longer reject them starting in 2014). Insurance companies also cannot drop someone from their policy if they get sick, or raise their rates due to illness. CON: Even though there is now a cap on out-of-pocket medical expenses annually, the government did not place a cap on what insurance companies can charge us for policies, sky's the limit. They have to charge equally, therefore everyone could end up having to pay more.'

If you cannot afford health insurance:

• 
  The penalty will be phased in, starting at $95 or 1 percent of income in 2014, whichever is higher, and rising to $695 or 2.5 percent of income in 2016. But families would not pay more than $2,085.
  
• 
  American Indians don’t have to buy insurance. Those with religious objections or a financial hardship can also avoid the requirement. And if you would pay more than 8 percent of your income for the cheapest available plan, you will not be penalized for failing to buy coverage.
  
• 
  Those who are exempt, or under 30, can buy a policy that only pays for catastrophic medical costs. It must allow for three primary care visits a year as well. (nytimes.com)
  

If you are refused coverage because of your health, you can get insurance from a new high-risk pool.

• The pool will be established within six months and will operate until 2014, when insurance companies can no longer refuse applicants with pre-existing health problems. Annual out-of-pocket medical costs will be capped at $5,950 for individuals and $11,900 for families. (nytimes.com)

High-Income families

• Families making more than $250,000 – would pay several thousand dollars more in Medicare payroll taxes starting in 2018. Their unearned income, now exempt from the payroll tax, would also be subject to a 3.8 percent levy. (nytimes.com)

LAST BUT NOT LEAST...

The thought that abortion could be covered by health insurance sickens me...

• Health plans on exchanges can offer abortion coverage. If you receive subsidies and enroll in a health plan that covers abortion, you will have to pay a separate premium for that coverage. And states could prohibit abortion coverage by these plans. (nytimes.com)

At the end of the day, I question why each of us did not get to vote on this bill...oh because it probably wouldn't have gotten passed....portions of it, probably. But not the whole thing. In the years to come I will be interested to see how this bill pans out for America....

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In Memory of Thomas J. Stewart

Me holding the ribbon at the grand opening of SGA's new corporate office, CEO Tom Stewart giving his speech, with Mayor Phil Gordon, and the Stewart family.
(Photo from SGAgroup.com)

There are few people that you will meet in your life that will inspire you do become something greater, and change your life. Rarely do these people know that they have had that sort of impact.

In August of 2007, I began an internship at Services Group of America in the Communications and Design department. I did not know very much about the company at the time. In previous jobs I had, if there was a mistake or something that happened that my co-workers did not like, they always blamed 'corporate.' It became apart of my own thinking to do the same.

On the second day of my internship, there was something that happened that the rest of the team did not like, so (thinking I would be funny) said, "Ohh it's probably corporate's fault." Both Brad and Taylor (my bosses) looked at me. "You do realize, that we're corporate, right?" said Brad. "Actually, we're like the corporate of the corporate." said Taylor. What I thought was a simple graphic design internship, turned out to be a job that changed who I am today.

Tom Stewart was CEO and founder of the company I interned for. The amount of intimidation that I felt the day I found out I was interning at a corporate office, was nothing compared to the first time I met Tom.

I was handing a project to his Executive Assistant (although, she is so much more. She could probably run China if she was called to do so), when Tom walked up & smiled. He looked at me and said, "Why hello. Do you work for me?" I replied yes and he shook my hand and asked what my name was. Never in a million years did I think a CEO of a multi-billion dollar company would ever want to know their intern's name, much less remember it.

At the opening gala for the company's new building, I held the red ribbon which was to be cut by his youngest daughter, Sydney, as I listened to Tom give his speech (He never wanted to be called Mr. Stewart, one of the things I admired most about him). There is something special about being proud of the company that you work for. I remember feeling so proud to be apart of that day, and every day during my year-long internship at SGA.


Tom, his wife Madena, and daughter Sydney, died in a helicopter accident in Cave Creek, AZ on February 15. This tragic accident has impacted many lives, and leaves me saddened and dismayed. However, when it comes to my former co-workers, perseverence in the midst of tragedy remains. My former boss Taylor, says it best:

"Today is not the time to ask why, but a time to forge forward towards the next unexpected thing in life. For surely some days will be blessed, some days will be tragic, but some days will silently drift into obscurity, and it is those days I think that are the saddest." -Taylor, A.

Tom taught me many things, though our interactions were few. Because even if you walked into the company's doors for five minutes, you would learn something from him without even meeting him. He ran a company that had pride in their mission, with good people at the helm. "Corporate" no longer seems so cold to me, because at SGA, the "suits" are incredible, hard working, humorous, intelligent people who make it fun to go to work, and are incredible at what they do.

To read more about Tom, his achievements, and his business, visit http://www.sgagroup.com/tjs.htm

You Never Know

My snooze button is my vice. I set it 20 minutes earlier than I plan to get up, just so I can come out of my coma and get to work or school on time. I finish my morning routine, breakfast, light-rail, school, gym, homework. It is not exactly my schedule that makes my days interesting, it is the people with whom I encounter.

I'm a people watcher, I cannot help it. It's like my brain automatically categorizes everyone I see. "I know him, I know her, I don't want to talk to them right now, eesh get some thicker leggings." I cannot help it, I think our brains are wired somehow to place a comment about a person in your mind before you even get a chance to tell it to be nice.

I was briskly walking to my accounting class so I could study a few more note cards before the exam, and I see a man passing out pamphlets. I instantly think of the encounter my former roommate, Kia, had with a less-than-loving religious supporter at ASU who was out of line.

Now, I love God and I am a Christian, therefore religious, but I was not in the mood for a debate or even someone questioning my beliefs. The moment I saw him my brain did one of those instant comments, it went something like, "Here we go again." I planned on taking the pamphlet and acting busy and in a hurry so he would leave me alone.

He was an older gentleman, dressed in a suit, with a briefcase, and a hopeful smile as I took the pamphlet from his hands. I instantly felt that I needed to not be busy. I smiled and said thank you, and asked what his name was, he looked shocked. "Steve SomethinSomethin" (I forget the last part), as he shook my hand. He was probably used to people passing him by day by day.

I told him I was a Christian and loved God and I appreciated him being a peaceful representation of his faith. He didn't say anything, but just smiled and nodded. I wont disclose his religion or denomination, it is different from mine, I do not wish to offend anyone since we have differing beliefs (and trust me, after reading the pamphlet, mine are waaaaay different).

I did, think about all the people we pass by each day, and we don't take that opportunity to share our faith in God. He knew that he and I dont believe the same things, but maybe he saw something good in our conversation. Maybe he had a negative preconcieved notion about Christians, maybe due to an experience, he had a bad taste in his mouth for hearing people talk about the one true God.

So, maybe me shaking his hand and telling him to have a wonderful day changed that. You never know.

Stuck in the Times

A passage I am reading for one of my classes reminds me of my experience in a American Indian Studies course. I was one of the only white people in there, which did not bother me...at first.

We first start going over all the prejudices and racial slurs against American Indians, the class came into an uproar. The thirty-some American Indian students in the class each had their own stories about this...except, many of the stories happened in the past. And not even their own past. Their anger came from events that happened in the seventeenth century, to be exact.

In my class, White people were called "the white man" or, my own personal favorite: "Those Europeans who stole our land." I think I just about fell out of my seat. Really, in 2009, this is how white people were being referred to by my fellow classmates. How is that not racist and bitter? I didn't steal anyone's land, my family immigrated from Norway long after the United States became a country, my ancestors had nothing to do with the first Thanksgiving, or any other sort of pilgrimage or colonization in the New World.

I came into that class wanting to learn about the beautiful traditions of Native Americans, from which I have learned about and have respected my whole life, and left the class with a bad taste in my mouth for their culture. I had never known that I was being so harshly judged by Native Americans whom I passed on the street. I had always smiled at and passed by these people without worry. One woman in my class, about forty years old, said aloud how she hated Americans and wished we would "Go back where they came from."

I understand that many many years ago, there were wars and battles because landlines had not yet been set in place, and that, in fact, Native Americans were mistreated in most cases due to the greed of the "white man." But we have come a long way since then. It is as if to say, that it would be appropriate for me to hate all Germans, just because during the Holocaust, Nazi's invaded Norway tortured and killed many of my ancestors.

I also understand that there is the exception, I do not know enough Native Americans to figure out whether the exception is that only a small portion of them continue to hate white people for things that happened in the past, while the majority focus their energy on more important things, or the other way around.

I truly hope that it is the former.