I feel suffocated sometimes with the predictability of my days- Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays I work. Tuesdays and Thursdays I go to school. I see the same people on the bus and light rail on the way to school, and when I drive to work I see the same people leaving their garages. It feels like the Truman Show type of world, where people talk about the things they’re involved in like it's a commercial. Where everything is the same.
I sit in the same row in my first class everyday. The same girl trips over my longboard every time she walks by (you'd think she'd look out for it by now), the same Industrial Design major-guy wishes me a good morning. Every Thursday in my accounting class I help the same girl with her homework before the teacher gets there, the same guy is late walking in, the same girl is sitting behind me click click clicking away text messages all stinking class. It's the same. Yet when everything was a variable, I was miserable. I never knew my work schedule until the Sunday before. I was involved in so many things that required so many different efforts and qualities, and I was exhausted. Now I'm exhausted (I'm still working my butt off), but it's a different kind of exhausted. I can't quite put my finger on it.
God is interesting like that, He gives us new challenges to overcome. We wish things were one way, and get mad when our prayers aren't answered. Then suddenly, without really realizing it, our prayers are answered and voila: you got your wish. You have stability, you know what your pay check is going to be, which night is date night, which night is family night, and which night is girl night, and so on. My life is so planned right now, that I have completely booked days...in December.
I'm just praying for humility, because I have a lot of amazing things going on for me, and I feel like I'm taking them for granted. I should feel blessed that there is a free shuttle from Tempe to West, and not gripe that it takes an hour to get there. I should feel blessed that I am attending college, instead of complaining about the workload. I should feel blessed that I have a steady schedule, instead of debasing the robot-like feeling of it all.
I should feel blessed. I know that I am blessed, I'm just praying that God will continue to remind me of that daily.
